Employees are hired by their skills, but are fired by their attitude
In this world, there are two kinds of people. First one is the Proactive, and second one is the Reactive.
How do we know if we are Proactive or Reactive? Simply by looking at our daily words.
|Maybe i will try…||I will do it!|
|I can’t change! I am me!||I can be a better person|
|I can do nothing||Let’s find out the possibilities|
|I am forced||I choose it!|
|I can not||Must be a way|
|You destroy my day, my mood||My mood is my responsibility|
|I behave like this because of you||My behavior is my responsibility|
|I was not promoted because my boss||I will work harder and smarter to be promoted|
Reactive people are controlled from outside. Reactive people always blame others i.e.: environment, family, education or race for their failures in life. They are always the victim. Their failure happens because of some situation, their boss, or even God. They can’t control their mood, they can’t control their behavior, thus they can’t control their future. Reactive people are easily offended, easily angered, first to complain and they always wait for something to happen to them. They change only if it is really needed.
Proactive people focus more on their ability to adapt, to change and to make adjustments who focus on the opportunities and possibilities. They can control their feelings, mood and behavior, and as a result they usually get what they want. If they don’t, they will control their feelings and try using different approach of the given situation. It is not common for them to get easily offended and think wisely before acting, which makes them quite responsible for their choices. It is easy for them to quickly recover from most bad situations and they always seek ways to make everything happen, focusing on things they can change.
Proactive people are controlled from inside.
Ships don’t sink because of the water around them; ships sink because of the water that gets in them. Don’t let what’s happening around you get inside you and weigh you down.
In my experience, it has been hard to deal with reactive people. So, here are some ideas on how to be more proactive:
Focus on the things you can change.
Many people focus on the things they can’t change or affect. They worry about the rain instead of preparing an umbrella and worry for what people say about them, instead of controlling their behavior. They worry about the future, instead of preparing for it.
If we keep focusing on the things we can’t change, we will be worried, stressed and weak.
So, learn to focus on what you can do, what you can change and what the solutions is. Some aspects we can control are: our emotions, our attitude, our choices and our response.
Change our Paradigm
Paradigm is the way we think, the way we perceive anything. Two people can see the same picture, but have two different perceptions.
Many times, our paradigms are not complete. For example, a student doesn’t like a math teacher because he gets angry easily. One day he is scolded because he doesn’t understand algebra. That leads him to think that he is bad at math and that he has poor logic. So, it was not the point that he is bad at math, it was just because he was being scolded by the teacher he hated, so it was hard for him to understand the algebra.
Even worse, our paradigm can determine our destiny. So, if you have any nonconstructive paradigm about your self, about others and about situations, you should change them to the constructive one. Try questioning any aspects you thought you are weak at. Find a way to improve in the area you want to be good at.
Realize that we can choose our RESPONSE
Do you realize that if we have any habit, we don’t even think when we do that. For example, you start learning how to drive a car. You must think which pedals to press. You learn to see the rear mirrors if you want to turn left or right. Once you master driving, you can press the brakes immediately if something suddenly appears in your way, even without thinking how to stop the car. You automatically drive to your office while you think about your daily plans.
It’s the same case with your response. Most of the time you respond without thinking. Remember that you still have free choice before responding. Here’s the picture:
By mastering these 3 points you will start to be proactive. Remember that your life is your responsibility. You have the power to control yourself!